


Push-Pull

by clockwork_spider



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Akaba "admitting your emotions is the first step to denying them" Reiji, Awkwardness, Confessions, First Kiss, Holding Hands, Humor, Kurosaki "what are emotions even???" Shun, M/M, Yuto and Ruri PDAs with their eyes, shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-24 13:19:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8373691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockwork_spider/pseuds/clockwork_spider
Summary: “I am attracted to you, Kurosaki Shun,” Reiji said, slowly, calmly, enunciating every syllable.Shun just stared. Maybe he didn’t hear him right.“I am attracted to you, both physically and emotionally,” Reiji repeated.“Oh,” Shun responded, so he heard him right.-----------------------------Edit Oct. 27, 2014: This is now a series of short fics.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place shortly after the supposed ending that haven't happened yet.

“I am attracted to you, Kurosaki Shun,” Reiji said, slowly, calmly, enunciating every syllable.

Shun just stared. Maybe he didn’t hear him right.

“I am attracted to you, both physically and emotionally,” Reiji repeated.

“Oh,” Shun responded, so he heard him right. He could not, however, decipher the meaning of the words that came out of Reiji’s mouth. Attraction, Reiji, himself, something about that whole concept just didn’t add up.

“I’ll go check up on Ruri,” he said, turned, and left. There really was no appropriate reaction.

 

* * *

 

It was during dinner when it hit him. Shun spat out his soup.

“Akaba Reiji likes me…”

“What was that?” Ruri and Yuto turned to face him in sync.

“Nothing.” He drowned his soup in two gulps. “How was your,” he waved vaguely in the air, “how’s uh… everything?” It wasn’t as much a divergence as genuine concern. Neither Ruri or Yuto are physically injured, but after all that’s happened, Shun felt plagued by a vague sense of paranoia whenever the two were out of his sight. It was, for the most part, unreasonable.

“Our day was fine, brother.” Ruri smiled gently. She and Yuto looked to one another, in sync again, passing some unspoken message amongst themselves, and suddenly Shun felt like he was intruding on some private moment. “There’s so much to catch up on… but everyone have been, well, so positive and kind.”

His sister’s smile was gentle, and genuine, and Yuto nodded along with those bright idealistic eyes and… _Oh_.

“That’s good,” he said, “I’m gonna go wash the dishes.”

 

* * *

 

 

Ruri and Yuto looks at one another as if nothing else exist in the world. Akaba definitely doesn’t look at him that way, he would have noticed. Akaba Reiji’s attention isn’t something that can be easily ignored.

_Scrub, rinse. scrub, rinse._

Unless, of course, the bastard stares at him while he isn’t looking. How long had it been? Was Reiji attracted to him during the Miami championship? While he watched him through those monitors of his?

_Why isn’t this piece of grease coming off?_

Was he totally unaware as Akaba Reiji watched him all this time???

The plate in his hand dropped in the sink with a loud clatter. Footsteps were followed by Yuto’s worried “Shun, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine.”

Perhaps he shouldn’t have scrubbed so hard.

 

* * *

 

“Since when?” he asked, when he finally catches the younger Akaba, the day before he depart, once again, for Heartland. Akaba Reiji had, for the past two days, made himself very difficult to locate. After a dozen “oh, he just left a minute ago,” and “Not now, Kurosaki,” Shun had the vague sense that Akaba was avoiding him.

Reiji cocked his head slightly to the side and blinked.

“If you were paying attention, Kaito and I had begun co-ordinating the rebuilding efforts since we came back from Academia. Leo is currently assisting us in stabilizing the dimensional-“

“I know that!” He snapped, “I meant… You,” he pointed a finger at Reiji, “me,” at himself.

“Oh,” Reiji snapped his mouth close, his expression changed, posture shifted.

“I can’t give you an exact time. I had other priorities to think about, I’m sure you understand.” The steely gaze was, once again, focused on him, with the typical Akaba-Reiji-level intensity.

“Where you _attracted_ to me while you watched me through the monitors during the Championships?”

Reiji had gone perfectly still, until the ambient noise of the air conditioning rose to an unbearable level.

“Yes,” he said slowly, in the same way he enunciated his earlier declaration, “I suppose I was.”

His eyes were locked to Shun’s, unblinking, tense, combative. Shun refused to look away.

“I was made aware of my feelings while we were in Synchro, but you didn’t need unnecessary distractions.”

 _Unnecessary distractions._ It made sense. But to hear Akaba Reiji describe himself in such a manner…

“So what do you want from me?” Shun asked, parting the air with a butterknife.

“Nothing. You do not have to treat me any differently than how you always had. I just…” He stood upright and rigid, fist clenched, knuckles white. A bow drawn to its limit, ready to snap. _Had Reiji always been so-_

“I needed you to know.”

Shun’s breath caught in his throat.

Akaba broke the eye contact.

“Tomorrow you return to Heartland, your home. I myself will remain in Maiami city, and oversee LDS. You are a friend whom I respect. I’d like to be honest before we part.”

And they could let this drop. The next time they see each other, it would be for necessity.

It was a sensible decision, typical of Akaba Reiji. And yet Shun could see the angry nail marks in Reiji’s palms. It hit him that Reiji needed to say “goodbye” because “don’t leave” were useless.

“I don’t know shit about attraction, physically or emotionally, but I…” 

He didn’t know how he felt about Akaba Reiji, son of the man who destroyed Heartland; smug unflappable asshole; secretive, calculating boy who uses others as if the ends justifies the means, who orders people around as if it comes naturally to him. Akaba Reiji, the leader of the lancers, the guy he respected and trusted his life to, the guy who just called him a friend. He didn’t despise the guy as much as he used to, or as he thought he would.

And it would be wrong to let Reiji win. To let Reiji end this, and believe it was for the best. To leave Reiji behind. Shun would not give Akaba Reiji that satisfaction.

“It’s not wrong to want things,” or so he blurted out.

Reiji looked up, expression surprised. Apparently he caught Reiji off-guard.

“We’ll stay for another week before we head back, I think Ruri rather enjoys it here.” He spread his palm on the desk, it was his turn to dictate the plan. "I want us to spend some time together, as much as you can afford to have. Then we can decide how often we want to contact one another after I return to Heartland.”

Reiji was staring at Shun as if he have grown another head.

“I thought you-“ he begun, “…you left.”

 _Oh… Right_ , Shun thought, he did that.

“You didn’t stop me,” Shun said, apologetically, or as apologetic as he could feel towards Akaba Reiji.

Reiji blinked, and then chuckled. It was a surreal sight. One that Shun didn’t find unwelcoming.

“Thank you, Kurosaki,” Reiji’s voice was softer than Shun had ever heard, and suddenly it was getting too much.

“I’m… going to tell Ruri and Yuto,” Shun said.

They got a _very_ long week ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve read a lot of fics where Reiji pulls Shun by the collar and smash their lips together and I thought “what if they just verbalize?” And honestly this is the most awkward fic ever. 
> 
> The thing about Reiji is… People always leave without telling him. At least, his dad did, as did Yusho. So he’d want to take control on how they part, at least. Shun can’t really leave him behind if he don’t expect him to stay. So really, he's low-key pushing Shun away when he really wants to pull him closer. 
> 
> And the thing about Shun is… he’s also tired of people slipping away from him.


	2. Calculated Risk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was Reiji who reached forward and took Kurosaki's hand in his own.

It was Reiji who reached forward and took Kurosaki's hand in his own. It was perhaps a bit too soon. It had, after all, only been three days since he declared his feelings of attraction.  
  
And only four days more until Kurosaki leaves for Heartland. Only four days more until they have to decide how often they'd like to see each other thereon after.  
  
It was a calculated risk.  
  
But Kurosaki tensed, his lips tightened and a guarded look replaced the smile that was there a moment ago.  
  
_It was too soon after all._  
  
He let go.  
  
But Kurosaki's expression _changed_ , there was a small, barely perceptible frown and Reiji's hand was firmly held in place before it could retreat.  
  
He looked to his hand, currently held hostage in Kurosaki's, then to Kurosaki's face, which stared back at him with equal confusion, then back to their hands.  
  
Their hands hung there in the air between them.  
  
Kurosaki looked away first. The grip on Reiji's hand softened slightly, but didn't let go.  
  
Kurosaki's hand was slightly calloused, and warmer than his own.  
  
They let their hands rest there, together, in the space between them, and it remained that way for the rest of the afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is becoming a series of shortfics. They're meant to be stand-alones after Push-Pull, within the same theme/continuity.


	3. Cravings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kiss did not go as planned.

_"I'm attracted to you, both physically and emotionally."_

Kurosaki Shun did not really understand the "emotional" part of the whole ordeal. He assumed that Akaba Reiji must have emotions, but sometimes he had his doubts. 

He did, however, understood the physical part, quite well. 

And as the end of their one-week trial drew nearer to its end, Shun found himself itching for... _Something._

The euphoria of the end of war, combined with the sudden lack of danger, felt like an open hole in his existence. Safety felt constantly... Lacking. And Shun found himself constantly on the end of obsessive cravings, dueling, food, physical contact, Akaba Reiji... 

Which was how he found his hands on Reiji's scarf, yanking the guy towards himself. 

In his nervousness he must have yanked too hard because Reiji's surprised face sped towards his own way too fast. Their noses collided painfully, and their open mouths missed each other just enough to get slobber all over Reiji's face.

They pulled apart. Reiji fumbled for his glasses, which clattered to the ground. 

Shun felt his face heat up as Reiji stared at him with confused, betrayed eyes. He felt utterly humiliated. 

_"Disappointed..."_ The man whispered in the film on the background, dramatic music played. 

Reiji got a tissue. 

Shun stood up. 

"I need to lea-" But Reiji caught his arm. 

"No, stay." Reiji commanded. And for once, Shun, still mortified, listened.

Slowly, Reiji stood up, and planted a light kiss to Shun's lips. 

The sound of the movie was drowned out by the sound of Shun's heartbeats, getting louder and louder as they stood, frozen. 

"Was that so hard?” It was Reiji, once again, who broke the silence. But there was something startlingly honest in that moment, something private, something which Shun didn’t… couldn’t understand. And through his time knowing Akaba Reiji, Shun have realized that the guy is honest by default, and private by necessity. 

Reiji released his arm. The physical contact ended, and once again distance was being built. _No._

Before he realized, Shun stepped forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Reiji’s shoulders. He couldn’t think, could still hear the pounding of his own heart. He thought he could also feel Reiji’s heart, beating against his chest. He wanted… _needed_ this moment to last a bit longer. He wanted Akaba Reiji. He wanted their bodies to meld together. He wanted-

Reiji exhaled, and the tense shoulders relaxed against Shun’s arms, and Shun felt Reiji’s chin resting against his shoulder. 

Kurosaki Shun did not understand attraction, physical or emotional. He didn’t understand his beating heart, or the constant itch in his guts, or the vulnerability in Reiji’s eyes. 

But in that moment, with their heart beating against one another’s, with Reiji's head against his neck and the tv playing in the background, he felt fulfilled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The movie they were watching is Inception. Imagine [Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxabLA7UQ9k) playing on the background as they hugged. 
> 
> I have no excuse for this... I just want them to fail horribly at kissing... I also wanted a long extended hug... Soo... this. 
> 
> The thing is... physical attraction, as I understand it, isn't necessarily always sexual. Sometimes it's just a need for physical contact. And I think part of it is also uh... a post-stress thing. When someone is stressed for too long, suddenly relaxing will cause you to miss stress, and sometimes you need to seek physical/emotional stimulations to fill that hole? Wow I hope I'm making sense.


	4. Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Shun’s last afternoon in Standard, and Akaba Reiji is having a fever.

By the time the afternoon hit, Akaba Reiji felt a headache developing. Attributing it to his recent lack of sleep, he did what every Akaba would do in his situation, he asked Nakijima to brew him another pot of coffee. 

After all, work needed to be done, and he had plans with Kurosaki after this. 

It was, after all, Kurosaki’s last day. 

* * *

 

“No, I don’t care if you have plans, we are not going anywhere.”

“I’m not sure how you do it in _Standard_ ,” Shun continued, raising his voice, "but back home, when you have a fever, you _rest_ and you _sleep it off_.”

“No, I don’t need rest,” Reiji snapped, irritation rising from the pit of his stomach. There were things which were much more important than sleep at the moment. Why couldn’t Shun understand that? “You’re returning to Heartland first thing tomorrow and we still haven’t figure out what we _are.”_

He couldn’t shake off the feeling that something important is about to slip past him. He won’t allow that. 

“If I go to sleep now, you’ll be gone by the morning, and I will miss seeing you off, and I wouldn’t be able to- I wouldn’t know how-“

_He’s not making any sense._

He needed to _make sense_. Why couldn’t he make sense of this?

Shun’s hands on his shoulders snapped him out of the train of thought.

“-Hey… Reiji!” Shun’s voice was uncharacteristically soft, “I’m not going _anywhere._ ” He called him Reiji, not Akaba or 'hey you'. “You’re going to rest, and I’m- I’m not going anywhere until you get better. I will make you sleep if I have to.”

“You need to go first thing tomorrow morning,” Reiji reminded, confused.

“Then you better go to sleep now and get better by then.”

“That’s unrealistic, a fever is not a controlled element.”

“Then I’ll stay until your fever lowers, and then we can discuss things properly.”

“There are plans.”

“Plans change. You of all people should know that better than I do. ‘Sides…” Shun’s voice dropped, "it’s not like I have anyone waiting for me back home.”

“Oh,” Reiji acknowledged, and then, “I don’t need you to lead me back to my room.”

At some point, Shun had begun physically pulling him by the hand. Reiji found this action slightly insulting, but Shun’s hand was comfortingly cool, and solid.

Shun looked to their hands, then back at him, and he realized that _he_ was the one still holding onto Shun. He supposed, with some disappointment, that he would have to break the contact.

* * *

 

“Sleep,” commanded Kurosaki Shun, arm crossed by the door.

Reiji stared back. Perhaps this was Shun’s payback for all the orders Reiji gave him in the past.

“I already told you, I’m not going anywhere, so you’re going to sleep your fever off-“

“You’re going to watch me sleep,” Reiji said.

“I’m going to read a book!” Shun shouted, “Right here! While you sleep!”

“Oh,” said Reiji, who was too feverish to object. Some part of his traitorous feverish brain found Shun’s presence incredibly comforting.

A period of silence passed as he settled in on his bed while Shun sat down on a chair, grabbing himself the latest issue of Duelist Monthly (the one with Reiji and Yuuya on the front cover).

“Kurosaki.”

“Sleep.”

“What do you plan to do when you go back?” Reiji ignored the command.

Shun put down the magazine, caught off-guard by the question.

“I don’t even know,” he answered, burying his face into his hand, “whatever Heartland needs me to be.”

“What did you plan to do with your life before all this?” Reiji asked.

“I wanted to be a pro-duelist… I was proud to defend my home. But I suppose that’s not needed anymore.”

Reiji made a soft hum of acknowledgement.

"Not necessarily," he added momentarily, "you're a hero, Kurosaki, someone for people to look up to."

"What is that suppose to mean? A symbol of hope can't fix roads or heal people."

"That's not a problem. Leo Corp and Academia will provide the resources-" an expression of disgust crossed Shun's face. Reiji closed his eyes, he didn't want to see Shun's contempt for his father, or the company he himself stood for. "What Heartland need is oversight. Its own people to make sure the resources reaches those who needs them."

"I want to establish the Lancers as peacekeepers in each of the dimensions. To make sure things won't turn out like Synchro. Starting with Heartland and Academia. But I can’t be the one controlling it, or it may turn out like Security.”

“Heartland needs to take power into its own hands. I want you to take the lead... You and Yuto and Ruri, who belongs to Heartland. If you’re willing, that is."

Shun didn't respond for a very long time. Reiji begun to notice the sound of his own breathing.

"You should be resting," said Shun, after what felt like forever. A gentle hand brushed acrossed Reiji's forehead, taking off his glasses. His blanket was adjusted. "Plan the future when you're more conscious."

"When you envision your future, do you see me in it?" Reiji asked, he felt the need to know.

"I don't know,” snapped Shun, "go to sleep or I'm leaving you." And then, a moment later, in a soft whisper, "but I'd like that, I think."

The statement felt like something warm. Reiji hummed in acknowledgment and allowed the sound of turning pages to lull him to sleep.

* * *

 

When Akaba Reiji woke up, the first thing he notice was the absence of headache. He no longer felt chilled to the bones.

The second thing he noticed was that Shun was gone.

A check of the duel disk showed that an entire night had passed.

_He had missed seeing them off._

He checked the clock again, 9:30AM. Half an hour past planned departure. The air felt heavy.

_Why didn't anyone call him? Why didn't Shun call him? Was his presence unwanted?_

But in the end, it was pointless to blame anyone else for oversleeping. It was his fault. _He_ missed seeing them off. He should apologize when he meet them again in the future. _Right. He needed to-_

His door opened with a click.

Shun was standing, right there at the door, with two trays.

"Your mother ordered me to bring you breakfast," it was Shun who broke the silence.

"Oh," said Reiji, "thank you. That's very kind of you."

"Can you feed me?" Asked Reiji, after another period of staring.

“No," and then, “Did you just make a joke?"

"Yes."

"Alright then, open up."

"Please don't."

"Did you eat yet?" Reiji asked, after a moment.

"Yes."

"Oh, do you need to go?"

"I don't have a plane to catch."

"Is Ruri and Yuto...?"

"They're still here."

"Am I holding you up?"

"Yes," and then "I want to be here. You wanted to see me off."

"Thank you, Kurosaki."

"Eat your scrambled eggs."

"Oh," said Reiji, "are you going to watch me eat?" And then, "I don't mind."

Shun chose not to comment on it.

Reiji didn't realize how hungry he was until he picked up his spoon. He suppose he did skip dinner. The eggs tasted different from the ones from the cafeteria. It was strangely familiar.

"Did my mother make this herself?" He asked.

"How would I know?"

"Scrambled eggs was the only thing she knew how to cook," Reiji said, after a brief moment, "she had always put too much pepper. She... Haven't made this since Leo left..” 

“Ah, I'm sorry," Reiji added, seeing Shun’s frown at the mention of his father. He didn't mean to bring up his father before Shun.

"It's fine," Shun said, with clear distaste, "Yesterday, you asked me what I wanted to do before all of this. What did you want to do before the war against your father?"

"I was always meant to inherit Leo Corp," Reiji answered, slightly surprised by the question, "it's my parents' legacy, and I was proud to know I would inherit it someday.” He blinked, shoving another spoonful of eggs and rice in his mouth, chewed. “Mother was always working, so I spent more time here at the tower then I did at our house,” he opened his mouth again, and it took a few tries for the right words to come out. 

“LDS was my home."

"I wanted to make LDS a home to all its students, and whoever needed it, just like it was home to me." He smiled a bit at that. How long ago was it since he last had that thought? When did the LDS tower went from being "home" to being their base of operations?

“It still could be,” Shun said, and that made Reiji smile, “not to me, of course. But I can see a lot of people needing it.”

It could, for example, provide education for the Heartland Refugee children. 

“I plan to head to Heartland in two weeks,” he revealed, “I was serious when I said I cannot be leading the Lancers there. But I want to spend more time there, and see what I can do to fix the damage Leo- my father, had caused.”

“What about LDS?” Shun frowned.

“Mother has been doing a fine job in my absence.”

“If this is about us,” Shun’s voice hardened, "then I never want to speak to you again.”

Reiji nodded in understanding. He wouldn’t have accepted that either. 

“On the contrary, this is something I need to do. That I should do,” he reassured, and once again stared back at Shun with determination, “I should apologize. I was… being irresponsible when I told you that I’d be staying at Maiami City. I wanted distance from you.”

It felt shameful, admitting to his own selfishness, but he could be honest. 

“It’s not wrong to want things,” Shun said, finally, after studying Reiji for a very long time.

“I’ve been speaking with Yuto and Ruri about establishing the Lancers,” he continued, “we’re not keeping the uniform.”

“That’s fine,” Reiji shrugged, pleased, “though if you want it in black…”

“No.”

"I still don’t have an answer for you,” said Shun, after a while, “about us, I mean."

“It doesn’t have to be about _us_ ,” said Reiji, surprised by how firm he felt, “I think maybe we overcomplicate things when we try to think about… us.”

“I’m still attracted to you,” Reiji continued, “and I still respect you as a friend and as a duelist. But it doesn’t have to be about us. We can be Akaba Reiji and Kurosaki Shun.”

“And you’re… okay with that?” Shun questioned, voice full of uncertainty.

“I am,” Reiji answered, remembering the feeling of warmth, of Shun’s hand in his own. “Thank you, Kurosaki,” he said once again.

It took another moment for Shun to pull him into a tight embrace. This time, it felt like a promise

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a bit of an explanation to the attitude change in Reiji. Something about sense of security? Earlier I’ve mentioned how people keep on randomly leaving in Reiji’s life, and for the most part, he’s fine with that. He cope with it by taking control of the situation, and learning to live without a sense of security. After Shun stayed with him for an entire week, delaying prior plans, he feels... more secure? And he realized that it doesn’t have to be about them, but at the same time, they can still be something to each other. They can be separate individuals, and pursue things they believe to be right. 
> 
> Part of Shun staying is actually... procrastination. Shun definitely wants to go back to Heartland, but he doesn’t really know what to do for it and doesn’t know how to restore it to the home he loved. Now he also feel a bit more confident about that part after this? 
> 
> Idk if any of this make sense but yeah... 


End file.
